CAROL CAIN Mother of three. Wife madly in love.

Still/always a NYCity Mama—despite the new address.

AGE   40

HOMETOWN / WHERE DO YOU LIVE NOW?  South Orange, NJ

NUMBER OF CHILDREN   Three…wow…yeah, three!

DAY JOB   Work-from-home mostly, travel and food writer/blogger.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS  Happily Married.

@TWITTER  Now as @CarolACain (formerly as @NYCityMama)

ON THE WEB   www.nycitymama.com

FAVORITE CHILD   *if applicable* (we’re joking*….)  Ha!

HOW DO YOU COMBINE WORK AND FAMILY?

Because I travel so much, and my husband holds a high-level position at his job, it can be tricky, especially since we’ve just moved and don’t have a sitter, or even know how to get one in our new location. But we honor each other’s work and schedule, and consult with each other before either of us travels, or makes plans that would require one of us to take the lead.

I am lucky that I have a husband who is as supportive of my work as I am of his. That is key.

HOW HAS PARENTING CHANGED YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL?  For instance are you now careful, when pre-children you led bungee jumping and sky diving expeditions?

Actually, I would love to go sky diving. I have always considered myself a bit of a free spirit. Granted, having kids has toned that down but more so because I’m exhausted, not because I’m fearful. I want my children to live happy, full, healthy lives. I want them to embrace adventure and be courageous.

I didn’t develop my “voice” until I was much older, so I appreciate my children’s voice(s) and the courage to use it (even when annoying). I encourage them to use their voice in a responsible, respectful, and considerate way…but to use it.

 HOW HAS PARENTING AFFECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

My husband and I are incredibly close. Having been married before (myself) and having experienced the hardship of a loveless marriage, I’m careful to not let life get so busy and so hectic that we don’t connect. Do we have “enough” sex? Probably not, but we talk about it a lot so it’s not on the back burner of our relationship!

I have always been a romantic at heart, as is my husband, and so I think we both agree that despite our inability to be as intimate or as together as we would like—because of family and the busy-ness of our lives—we value our connection deeply enough to never let too much time go by. We’ve been together almost ten years and are as madly in love as when we first met, if not more so.

 WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS AS A PARENT AND WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?

Honestly, my biggest strength as a parent is that I love my children deeply. This is what guide me on a day-to-day basis. Even with three kids, I spend a lot of time second-guessing myself and wondering if what I am doing is right. Maybe that is my weakness?

I don’t know what all the answers are but of course I want the best for them. I want them to remember being loved and cared for. Even if they know I wasn’t the perfect mom, or the best mom, at least I want them to know they were loved.

WHAT ARE YOUR PARTNER’S STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES?

My husband is not perfect. He has his faults, but I would have to say I probably have a tad more than he does—and yet he loves me and puts up with me. So although it might be easier to point them out in anger, I have to admit that whatever they are, they can’t be harder to deal with than my own faults!

He’s a great father. Incredibly devoted and dedicated to his children. He is present and available and hands-on. He is open to learning and listening, and though he has his pride, it never comes before his children…and rarely before his devotion to his wife.

 WHO ELSE PROVIDES CHILDCARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN?  

My thirteen year old is an incredible help with the little ones. It’s because of him that we can do date nights, and I can attend some evening functions. We don’t have parents or family nearby that is willing or able to care for our children, so having him is a huge help. He is very mature for his age—but he is a teenager—and we might have to let him have more free time as he gets older. Right now he’s an invaluable help and has already developed into an incredibly mature, dependable young man.

WORST PARENTING MOMENT

Wow. Just one? I guess my worst moment was when I got angry with my teen and struck him…ok, who talks like that? I slapped him on the face. I cried for hours and hours afterwards. It was awful. It was by far, my lowest moment as a parent because I attacked my child in a moment of intense anger.

 BEST PARENTING MOMENT

When I apologized to my teen after hurting him. I think that having a loving and trusting relationship with my kids, where I am still ‘mom’ and in charge, but good and sweet and caring, is the best.

Lisa Duggan

Lisa Duggan is the Founder and CEO of The Modern Village, and publisher of TheParentduJour.com and TheMotherHoodBlog.com.

4 thoughts on “CAROL CAIN Mother of three. Wife madly in love.

  • August 10, 2011 at 1:32 pm
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    What Carol doesn’t mention is that she’s funny, and smart, and generous to other bloggers…friends. Also – honest – I mean, look at that answer to “worst parenting moment.” And that’s the kind of honesty that makes for good blogs. Go Carol!

    Reply
    • August 10, 2011 at 10:25 pm
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      Aw!! Thank you Nancy for your support and encouragement and positive words! xoxoxox

      Reply

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