SICILY MORELAND More S’mores, mama.

More joy!

AGE   22

HOMETOWN   Moscow, Idaho

@TWITTER   @MoreSmoresMama

GOOGLE+   Sicily Moreland

ON THE WEB   More Smores

NUMBER OF CHILDREN   One

DAY JOB   Private Child Care provider (about a century ago it was called a nanny)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS   Single

HOW DO YOU COMBINE WORK AND FAMILY?

I had to make a lot of sacrifices being a single working mom trying to support my daughter. About a year ago I was working two full time jobs. I made a major life change when I saw just how many moments and first milestones I was losing with my little one. Now I work in private child care, which allows me to have my daughter with me just about 24/7, while still working and making money. As I am teaching other children I am also able to teach my daughter.

HOW HAS PARENTING CHANGED YOU AS AN INDIVIDUAL?

I had absolutely no patience before having my daughter. Definitely a tough lesson learned.

HOW HAS PARENTING AFFECTED YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

This is a tough question. My ex didn’t want kids. So finding out I was pregnant completely changed things.

He has only ever been around her twice in almost three years, so he doesn’t have the same connection with her. Which is why our opinions are completely different. Mine are centered around my daughter’s well-being. While his are in other places. He doesn’t seem to get how badly kids can be affected by absent fathers. He calls once every few months or so to check in, when it’s convenient for him. And then wonders why I have such a bad temper towards him.

WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS AS A PARENT AND WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?

I would definitely say my strength is the ability to adapt, and think quickly. Being a parent, you always have to be on your toes, but especially being a single parent. Sticky last minute situations are my specialty.

My weakness is absolutely, without a doubt, being unable to accept parenting advice. I understand people are just trying to help, and maybe their advice could actually help. But it is extremely hard for me not to put up my defenses, immediately. It’s as if a flashing neon sign in my head says “THEY ARE QUESTIONING YOUR PARENTING”.

Which, in retrospect, I know is not true. Most people are genuinely trying to help.

WHO ELSE PROVIDES CHILDCARE FOR YOUR CHILDREN?

95% of child care is done by me. The other 5% is done by my mom. I am absolutely lucky to have my mom in the picture, and living near us. She definitely helps me out a lot with my daughter.

DO ANY OF YOUR CHILDREN HAVE SPECIAL NEEDS? AND IF SO, HOW DOES THIS AFFECT YOUR PARENTING?

Do temper tantrums count as a special need? Haha.

WHAT IS YOUR WORST PARENTING MOMENT?

My worst parenting moment is a little embarrassing.

I definitely let my daughter watch way too much TV. And sometimes I use it to distract her so I can finish cleaning something, or whatever it may be that I need to get finished quickly. I probably shouldn’t, but I don’t have a second parent around to take over for a few minutes here and there. It’s only me. So I have to come up with a few tricks just to get things done without constantly getting interrupted.

WHAT IS YOUR BEST PARENTING MOMENT?

It’s hard to pin point a specific moment that is the best. Parenting is give and take, and there are good moments and bad moments. I guess I would have to say that my best moment as a parent is the times I spend working with my daughter’s language skills.

I am extremely proud to say that for a toddler she speaks very well for herself. Full sentences that make perfect sense. Her vocabulary is very large and she is not afraid to use it. And she is already trying to read at age 2 and a half. I work very hard teaching her words, and how to talk. So when she meets someone new her response is this: “Hello. I’m good. How are you? It’s sunny outside.” Pretty impressive for a two year old.

Please feel free to add other stories or anecdotes about your life as a parent.

My daughter is a comedian. I don’t have a partner around to cheer me up when I’m having a bad day. But my daughter can literally sense my bad mood. She starts laughing for no reason, and doing random summersaults— doing anything she can just to get a laugh out of me. And when that doesn’t work, she comforts me.

My daughter, as with most single moms, is the most important thing in my world. I must admit she is a far more intelligent, and motivated individual than I am (not sure where she got that, maybe beginner’s luck on my part). Anyway, she seems to take care of me more than I do for her.

Perfect example of this happened a few weeks ago. I had received some pretty distressing information earlier on that day, and I was having a hard time holding things together. I tried so hard not to show my daughter, because I didn’t want her to stress, or be upset. But as every parent knows, sometimes you just crack.

But my two year old, baby girl completely surprised me. It was like the twilight zone —given the tantrum about watching Elmo she had five minutes earlier. I was sitting on the couch and I started crying. My daughter walked up to me, and asked, “You okay, mom?” She then patted my head like a dog and added, “It’ll be okay, mommy. You’ll be ok.” She kissed my cheek, patted my face and then gave me the biggest bear hug her two year old little arms could handle.

I smiled so hard for the next five minutes, that my cheeks started to hurt. That is what makes this crazy life of being a single mom totally worth every second.

Lisa D

Lisa Duggan is the founder of The Modern Village, and publisher of TheParentduJour.com and TheMotherHoodBlog.com.

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